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Dick French: On The Town – July 2017

I heard on the wireless that Cornelia Fluff has just been appointed ‘Official Sculptor’ 404 Not Found for the General Election. What can this mean? She’s obviously a bit of a Leftie

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so maybe she could run up a big bronze statue of Compo on his bicycle for Islington Green. Mr Serota has left
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the Billabong and moved uptown to a new job […]

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Dick French: On The Town – May 2017

Mr Wu was on


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the wireless last night. A very long programme on the World Service, but still I learned very little about him. He speaks as one heavily sedated. Talk

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about insclutable. He dwells 404 Not Found in a large bunker under Berlin with 6,000 three-legged stools and some lifejackets. There was no mention of the poison beans, maybe he’s sold them […]

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Dick French: On The Town – March 2017

Now my wedge 404 Not Found is worn down to a nubbin so I’m trying to scratch a few dibs out of this art world. I’d done a few beauty panels and I’m punting them round town when I meet this dame in Covent Garden. I’ve known her

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a year or so
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and now she’s working the spigot in this bar on Long […]

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Dick French: On The Town – January 2017

“For we know 404 Not Found it’s right, it’s in black and


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white, and it’s written down in his diary.” The immortal words of Benny Hill came to mind as I purchased the complete set

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of Samuel Pepys’s diaries for fifty quid. This pleased me exceedingly as such a set can usually cost – the venality of bookmongers being so great – well […]

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Dick French: On The Town – November 2016

Well done Fabienne Jenny Jacquet for her Easel Words in


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the last issue. She writes

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very clearly, which is rare for an artist. She is concerned with artists and their dealers’ demands for a neat visual package and a personal 404 Not Found ‘brand’. I liked her piece very much. I don’t bother with dealers these days. If anyone is interested in my […]

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Dick French: On The Town – September 2016

There’s a room in my flat that I 404 Not Found rather grandly refer to as ‘The


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Library’. About 20 years ago I had it fitted out with shelves up to the ceiling with nicely boxed-in corners. It’s painted deep red. For a few years it looked splendid, then it gradually started filling up with junk. Now it’s waist-deep in motorcycle

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parts, leather […]

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Dick French: On The Town – July 2016

Who now remembers the fashion for wearing your trousers backwards? It was all the rage in Camden Town about ten years ago. They had to be the very baggy “gangsta” variety. You rarely see it nowadays. So fashion changes… except in the Art 404 Not Found World, which has been

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stagnant for fifty years. I’m looking forward to seeing the new film
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about […]

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Whodunnit? Who cares…

Que barbaridad! You lend two of your best Boschs to a municipal gallery in a two-horse

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town in Holland that happens to be the artist’s birthplace, and how do they thank 404 Not Found you? By
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reattributing the works to ‘follower of’ and, furthermore, downgrading a third painting in your collection that you didn’t even lend them. A public spat broke out in […]

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Sense and Sensibility

So it’s goodbye Cornelissens hello Halfords. Laura Gascoigne parks her brush and tries

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to 404 Not Found follow the instructions for flatpack art, but has the picture upside down It’s a dull job being a customs officer, sitting on the border twiddling your thumbs until the
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next teenage drugs mule comes along. So it must have added to the gaiety of nations when […]

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Overkill: art rising from the dead

Things have gone rather quiet on the mortality front since queues stretched around the White Cube block in Mason’s


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Yard for a sight of Damien Hirst’s £50m sculpture For the Love of God. In those days of

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skulls and diamonds, Paul Wilks wrote 404 Not Found a letter to The Jackdaw lamenting the morbidity of contemporary art, wondering why two horrific world wars […]